A Void

Loving Others Without Expecting Them to Fill a Void
It has been four years since we have talked to each other. Sometimes his memories haunt me and push me towards him. What will he be doing, does he remember me, he might be married now, should I call him, will he be able to recognize me? He must be busy with his own priorities now.

I could not hold these feelings and that day I just called him on his landline number. Yes, his number is still fresh in my memories. I called him, knowing that someone else may pick up the call, so I was prepared to tackle the situation cautiously.

It rang and an old lady’s voice came from the other side. I asked, “Can I speak with Mr. Abhimanyu Manwal?” and from the other side, “May I know who is on the line?” I replied, “I am calling from a recruitment agency and there is a job opportunity for him, can I now talk to him or if you can provide me his personal number?”. She replied, “Yes, note down his number, it is…”.

I was sure, it was aunty Ji. I did not have the courage to even say Namaste to her. On the other side, I was hopeful.

Thank god, I got his new number. Shall I call him on this number? I was thinking, waiting, and trying to figure out what to do and what not. It is 23rd February, his birthday, I shall not miss the chance.

I dialed the number and the bell rang. It ranged but he did not pick. Disappointment filled in my heart. I held the phone tight and near to my heart. I was trying to calm myself and suddenly, I dialed the number again. He picked up this time. My heart was pumping loudly and hastily, I said hello is this Abhimanyu (I recognized his voice, it was him, I just wanted to give him the time to recognize me). He said yes, who is on the line. Instead of replying to him, I wished him a happy birthday. He was astonished to hear but he replied in a grateful way and asked me again, who is this.

I said, “It’s me Radhika, Radhika Virani”. I hope you remember.

There was a surprise in his voice. “Hi, how are you?”

I replied, “I am good, how is your life?”

“Cool, everything is great.” He said.

It was not just a conversation; it was more of a dialogue wherein we both were trying to know what is happening in our lives. He was aware that I am married now but nothing more than that. And I was completely out of clue about his life.

I asked him, “Shadi wadi ho gai?”

He replied, “Yes, three months back, in December”

It was a mixed feeling. But how can I be sad, everyone has to move on like I have. I congratulated him and told him that I am a mother of two by now. He was also glad to know and congratulated me…

And that is how we ended our story, which was never even started.

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